Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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