she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize