just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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