I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
