And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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