Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
