I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
