thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
