i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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