Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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