This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
