Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
