Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
