i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
