I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
