Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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