I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
