Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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