Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
