First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
