so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
