I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
