Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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