the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
