I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize