marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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