I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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