what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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