I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
