and she was petting her beer can
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
