Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
high people should be assigned attendants
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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