my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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