There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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