remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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