VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
