In the future we'll all be gay
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
