this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I forget how to act sober
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