The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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