I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
