yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
just tell him i said nine months
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
