I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
