i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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