as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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