omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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