It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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