did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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