At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
