Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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