the day after is always just damage control
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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