White coat. Heels.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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