The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Small penises have feelings too.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just invented taco cereal.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
