When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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