Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize