Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize