We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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