so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
