4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
