I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize