I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize