I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
