Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The dick lei will go down in squad history
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
