I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
