I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
